Disaster Averted
by Calico Yorki
Summary: In something completely non-canon and just for fun, Noel saves herself and others from a brotherly crossfire. Rated T for some cursing and suggestive turns of phrase, and rated S for Silly.


There were many things which got Noel worked-up. Pandas were one. Ohhh, the cute pandas! With their fuzzy face, and the little tail, and those big paws...But that got her worked up in a good way. Ragna got her worked up in - well, let's just say the ways he got Noel worked up would be taken with her to the grave. Someday, she would work up the guts to confess to just one guy she liked; just one would do, just pray he didn't reject her, or at least let her down softly!

However, few things gave her more anxiety than a tense ride on a train. The tram from the wastelands into Kagutsuchi was not exactly a train, of course. However, the ride on it was so tense it was heart-poundingly close to violence. On one side sat Ragna, scowling angrily, his fist clenched on a length of leather cord. This cord was attached to a series of belts, which were wrapped around Taokaka's midsection. Goodness knows how he got it on her, but Noel had a feeling that the bruise above his left eye may have been the result of Taokaka thinking it was time to wrestle. Said bizarro catgirl was languidly sprawled on the metal floor, staring between Ragna and his staredown opponent.

There sat Jin, arms crossed like the defiant curmudgeon he was. Noel had no doubts that if he were alone in here with Ragna, he would be absolutely throbbing with the psychotic desire to kill Ragna. Thankfully, he had Makoto sitting beside him, periodically nudging his shoulder if he looked like he was thinking about damning all social propriety and going for Ragna's eyes, all while grinning like a maniac. For now, his face was an icy mask: cold, emotionless, and just a little bit sexy. But he was her superior, and Noel had quickly realized that he was a complete and utter wackaloon whenever Ragna was involved. He could never love any woman as much as he lusted after Ragna's suffering and demise. If Tsubaki wanted him, then Tsubaki could have him; Noel would be with her in spirit.

As for Makoto, she would wait for when the two brothers got locked into each other's murderous tunnel vision, then glance desperately at Noel. She would try to make gestures as if trying to urge Noel to do something. Wasn't Makoto the social one? Wasn't she the one who knew what to do in relationships, of every emotional and physical nature? Surely she was trying to mime out what Noel should do! Of course! So, Noel paid close attention to the plan which Makoto was trying to convey. Clenched teeth, okay. Furrowed brow, that was an original mean of non-verbal communication, but hey it was working! And her hands, flicking the wrists and flipping the fingers towards Noel.

Dear God Makoto had no idea what to do. She was trying to convince Noel to make some kind of move, to intervene, to save them all from Blood Kains and Ice Cars all over what was becoming a claustrophobically small tram. Noel wracked her brain, thought about all she knew about the two brothers. There was surely something she could do to circumvent a total (and perhaps frighteningly literal) trainwreck! Now, she was apparently somehow a clone of their little sister, right? Surely that would help her! No, wait. Their little sister was the entire reason these two were out for blood. She would probably just hasten the mayhem. Dammit! The two seemed to be preparing to bound from her seats. Thinking quickly and without great forethought, Noel leaned forward, opened her mouth, and -

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," she sang in a terrified and mortified voice, "merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream!" As she continued to sing, redfaced and eyes screwed shut, Noel wanted to shoot herself right there. At least that might save herself of dying in the crossfire, singing like a moron. Then, something magical happened. No fights started. No swords clashed. Nobody died. Noel opened her eyes, to see everyone staring at her. By now, she could only sing, and pray.

Then, Tao of all people helped her out, by picking up the song at a staggered tone. "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," she excitedly joined in, "Meowrrily, meowrrily, meowrrilly, meowrrily, life is but a dream!" Like that, the two of them continued. Jin stared in amazement and slight discomfort towards Ragna. The vigilante just shrugged, as no answers came to him. With glee, Makoto joined in the staggered song, and it was almost as if something really excellent was going on.

Ragna sighed heavily. "When in Rome," he gruffly surrendered. "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream," he picked up in the staggered tune right after Makoto. Jin was very confused, and mildly horrified at this turn of events. He did not do singing. All of this singing, his dearest brother included, was unnatural, and kind of freaking him out. Perhaps if he joined in for a while, he could get them to stop? So, with great trepidation and his skin crawling for unease, Jin joined in as the last part of the song.

Miraculously, everybody lived on that train ride to Kagutsuchi. At the parting of the ways, they all agreed to never, ever, speak of this again.

**...Just Another Possibility of the - oh, hang it.**


End file.
